Monday, 12 May 2014
5 years have passed since I got stupid cancer under 40 and in all that time, I was hoping that I would be able to recover from at least most of what happened to me from cancer and treatment; wounds, radiation damage, chemo damage, and loss of fertility. Now I never wanted kids (in fact, I finally got my cancer diagnosis cos I was being treated for Endometriosis and getting my tubes tied...), but at LEAST I wanted to function like a NORMAL child-bearing age woman. That brings me to the latest annoyance in surviving stupid cancer under 40; premature menopause! I mean REALLY!? I'm dealing with shit now (5 years since cancer treatment chucked me straight into the damn menopause) faced normally by 60 year old women! WTF?! My skin is total rubbish; I look like an old lady; wierd lines around my lips, an ugly turkey neck and for the first time ever, I noticed my jawline not as defined and my face looking more 'square' than oval.
I had always figured I'd get Botox when I'm 50, but looks like I need to start a lot sooner than that! :o
I fell from one of the horses I ride in Florida last Winter and fractured my wrist and wondered right away if that was from the fecking menopause. (I did land directly on my wrist so that may have had a lot to do with it ;)) but I did fall into soft sand, so I blame cancer :p.
This premature menopause rubbish is shite! Doctors didn't even tell me it would happen (until it did >..< ) and then because I had a hormone-driven gynaecological cancer, I can't take HRT. I didn't really like the idea of an increased risk of breast cancer anyway either! Doctors told me it was 'only a little increase' if I decided to take it but are they nuts?! LOL WTF!? Are you mental? I'll just go from one cancer to another then they presume. Gah!
Don't even get me started on the sex problems :/. How can one feel sexy when you're not even 50 yet and have the same problems as the 75+ year old ladies in my 'cancer people' Yoga class!? >:(
It's bad enough that cancer has fucked me up in so many ways mentally and psychologically as well as physically, but I'll be damned if it makes me look ugly too! Bring on the Botox, Retinol, Vitamin C serums, Q10 lotions and Restylane! Damn cancer (damn menopause!) I'm too young for this shit! :p
Any other young ladies dealing with premature menopause? Let me know how you handle it! :)