Tuesday, 12 April 2016

damn cancer VW Show 2016

It's nearly time once again for the annual 'damn cancer VW Show'! :)

Love Vintage VWs and hate cancer? Well bring out yer Dubs to the 7th damn cancer VW Show!

This year at a new bigger venue, just South of Stratford Ontario Canada.

All funds go to Wellspring Stratford support Centre for people with cancer.

$10/vehicle entry fee
*Goodie bags for each entrant*
*Door Prizes*
*50/50 Draw*
*Peoples' Choice judging with grand Prizes for favourite Air-cooeld and favourite Water-cooled VW at end of day!*

and a fun day with fellow Volks Folks!

Sunday 12 June
0900-1500 hrs.
Embro Community Centre, Embro ON

For more information and a map, visit the Website:

damn cancer VW Show 2016


Let's drive away cancer!

Friday, 8 January 2016

Hope is for Dopes....

Found this insightful and somewhat sad essay yonks ago it seems (2009?) written by a guy who has since passed away from stupid cancer...

Seems more apt than ever really....

Not long ago I attended a Cancer Relay. I was told that the event was a fund raiser/celebration. Speakers talked a lot about hope. “Never give up hope,” they chanted. The audience cheered. I began to wonder about the entire premise of this event.

Fund raiser/celebration? I got the fund raiser part. That is what the American Cancer Society seems to do – raise funds. Many people work for the ACS and many more volunteer. They raise a lot of money. I think that most of it goes to pay for large buildings that house lots of employees who work with lots of volunteers who raise lots of money. They produce lots of T- shirts with cancer relay emblems printed on them. I think they also put out wrist bands and trinkets that say things like, “Don’t give up hope,” and stuff like that. They operate a website that serves as a search engine for a lot of information about cancer. ACS volunteers do things like drive patients to their chemo sessions. I think that mostly what they do though is raise money.

The celebration part of this fund raiser celebration was a bit more puzzling. We’ve been fighting the war against cancer for forty years now and basically we’re getting the shit kicked out of us. We have no cure for cancer. People die from cancer every day. I have cancer and based on the statistics I have less than a five percent chance of being cured. Sorry but I don’t feel like celebrating.

Some came to the fund raiser/celebration to celebrate people who have died. I hope no one does that for me if and when I die from this disease. Let me make my request now: please do not buy a candle and walk around a track in remembrance of poor me. As one whose days are most likely numbered, I can think of thousands of things to do that would be more productive than lighting candles and walking around in circles.

You see, that’s the problem with this war on cancer. We’re walking around in circles way too much. Rather than search for a cure for cancer – some way to stop the proliferation of cancer cells in bodies with immune systems that fail to get the job done, researchers are looking for chemo agents that are merely less toxic than those on the market today. It is the market that determines what researchers work on. Finding a cure for the disease of cancer is not an endeavor that can promise a quick and sizeable return on a cash investment. We’ve not taken the first steps in understanding how to stop cancer from metastasizing. Cancer cells that are killed or removed before they grow into the lymphatic system or have a chance to metastasize may be permanently eliminated. Unfortunately, most cancer is not detected and treated that early. So the rest of us, with cancers that have penetrated the lymphatic system, spread to distant organs, or recurred, are shit out of luck.

Which brings me back to the problem I have with hope. If someone is beating you on the head with a baseball bat, will you hope that they stop? If your house is on fire, will you hope that the fire goes out and that you will be saved? If your child is hungry, will you hope that he doesn’t starve? Come on America, think. Don’t just follow the pack and donate a couple of bucks for a T shirt that advertises hope. Hope is for people who have run out of resources. Hope won’t cure you. Hope won’t make you well.

I’m reminded of an interview in which Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones was asked if he believed in what the Beatles were preaching through their song, “All you need is love.” “Try eatin’ that,” said Richards. I don’t believe that is so cynical. We have a few basic needs which, if they are unmet, will lead us to disaster. Air, food, water and shelter reign among those.

We need to stop cancer from taking over our bodies. Once cancer starts the process of taking charge, we have precious little time to turn things around. It is as if we are under water. There are ways to breathe down there but eventually we must come to the surface and breathe the air. Health care professionals can kill a few cancer cells, but cancer patients desperately need to stop the process of cancer growth inside their bodies. That is the cure we need, but unfortunately there is nothing being developed today that is any more promising than what was available forty years ago.

Try putting some of that hope into an IV bag and let it drip into your veins. I don’t think it will take you far. Science has found, so far, that hope has nothing to do with decreasing cancer mortality. Attitude, age, diet, chemo and procedures don’t even put a dent in mortality rates. The stage of one at diagnosis is what determines who lives and who dies.

Instead of hoping, why not take all of those purple cancer T-shirts and make them into blankets. Put those blankets on patients who sit freezing on vinyl recliners with icy cold chemo dripping into their veins. Instead of mindlessly forking over a couple of bucks to the ACS let’s find a way to fund a real cure. This would mean bypassing the fund raisers that spend money on T-shirts and trinkets; bypassing the pharmaceutical companies that are trying to make a quick return on their investment by chasing cancer cells; bypassing the fund raisers that seek donations for hospitals and cancer centers that promise to make a profit by delivering the same treatments that haven’t worked for forty years. Instead of hoping, let’s fund a real cure.

I don’t wish to quell anyone’s enthusiasm. I’m not against anyone who is compassionate enough to dig into their pockets and contribute to what they think is a solution. I see no wrong in celebrating the lives of those who have passed before us. I want to rethink the way we are approaching the disease of cancer. I want to get money into the hands of people who can actually find a cure rather than a treatment. Enough with the T-shirts and fund raising/celebrations. I want to see hope transformed into action. I’m kind of in a hurry too.


Monday, 12 May 2014

Premature Menopause is getting old :(

5 years have passed since I got stupid cancer under 40 and in all that time, I was hoping that I would be able to recover from at least most of what happened to me from cancer and treatment; wounds, radiation damage, chemo damage, and loss of fertility. Now I never wanted kids (in fact, I finally got my cancer diagnosis cos I was being treated for Endometriosis and getting my tubes tied...), but at LEAST I wanted to function like a NORMAL child-bearing age woman. That brings me to the latest annoyance in surviving stupid cancer under 40; premature menopause! I mean REALLY!? I'm dealing with shit now (5 years since cancer treatment chucked me straight into the damn menopause) faced normally by 60 year old women! WTF?! My skin is total rubbish; I look like an old lady; wierd lines around my lips, an ugly turkey neck and for the first time ever, I noticed my jawline not as defined and my face looking more 'square' than oval.
I had always figured I'd get Botox when I'm 50, but looks like I need to start a lot sooner than that! :o

I fell from one of the horses I ride in Florida last Winter and fractured my wrist and wondered right away if that was from the fecking menopause. (I did land directly on my wrist so that may have had a lot to do with it ;)) but I did fall into soft sand, so I blame cancer :p.

This premature menopause rubbish is shite! Doctors didn't even tell me it would happen (until it did >..< ) and then because I had a hormone-driven gynaecological cancer, I can't take HRT. I didn't really like the idea of an increased risk of breast cancer anyway either! Doctors told me it was 'only a little increase' if I decided to take it but are they nuts?! LOL WTF!? Are you mental? I'll just go from one cancer to another then they presume. Gah!

Don't even get me started on the sex problems :/. How can one feel sexy when you're not even 50 yet and have the same problems as the 75+ year old ladies in my 'cancer people' Yoga class!? >:(

It's bad enough that cancer has fucked me up in so many ways mentally and psychologically as well as physically, but I'll be damned if it makes me look ugly too! Bring on the Botox, Retinol, Vitamin C serums, Q10 lotions and Restylane! Damn cancer (damn menopause!) I'm too young for this shit! :p

Any other young ladies dealing with premature menopause? Let me know how you handle it! :)

Friday, 28 March 2014

5th annual damn cancer VW Show!

Once again, it is nearly time for the annual 'damn cancer VW Show'!
A fun time with VWs and their drivers to get together and raise funds for Wellspring Stratford and to make people aware of Young adult cancer.

Join the fun and let's drive away cancer! 1 June 2014 near London Ontario!

Damn cancer VW Show

Me and my VW :)

Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Pinktober yet again

Welcome once again to ‘Pinktober’ that time of year for ‘breast cancer “awareness”. *sigh* Wherein cancer charities and multinational chemical companies (and even concrete lorries) dress in pink to help spread some kind of cloud of optimism to people that if you just are “aware”, you won’t die of stupid cancer. :/
Millions of $ £ € etc. are spent each year on research (unfortunately much of it repetitive and on animals which doesn’t often equate to humans..but I digress), we are STILL no closer to curing this shit. More conclusions that faulty genes are to blame for many cancers, or links to viruses compromising our immune systems, but has anyone thought to look beyond those conclusions and ask WHY are our genes so faulty (toxic environment!?), why can’t our immune systems fight off generally harmless viruses any more. Cancer is RISING in Young adults; it’s NOT just a disease of the old like most cancer charities would have you believe. 
The world of cancer research, medicine, pharmaceuticals does not want to admit that their so-called ‘war on cancer’ is failing miserably. On the other hand, we have a rise in ‘alternative medicine’ claiming they have all the answers whilst millions of people die at their hands too. 
Something has got to change; we can’t go on like this.
Damn cancer and damn these “awareness” campaigns; I just want me and my friends to stop dying. :( 

Tuesday, 18 December 2012


Just the other day, in an online discussion on Google+, I was accused of being 'bitter and angry' by someone who was NOT a cancer person, didn't know me and was completely insensitive to the dislike by many with cancer of saying 'lost battle' when someone dies of this wretched disease.

Whilst I hate arguing on the InterwebZ (you know the old joke 'arguing on the Internet is like running in the special Olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded'). Ok bad taste and semantics aside, it's about right :o.

I felt the need to 'defend' the position of the Malignant Militia. Of COURSE I'm angry! That's the whole point! Anger GETS SHIT DONE! I have even been thanked by nurses and other cancer care workers for enlightening them to issues faced by young adult cancer people and some of the shit with which we have to deal which doesn't get addressed by oncologists or our health care teams. We also need to educate the general public that more studies which say 'smoking is bad for you' or 'cancer rates are up' are NOT helpful in the definitive search for either a 'cure' or some sort of way to stop this fecking plague from killing everyone.

Metastatic cancer survival rates are still DISMAL and it needs more research especially since it is often a more prevalent reality for young adults as we are often diagnosed too late (we're not 'supposed' to get cancer, you know :p ).

I make no apologies for calling out the cancer charities when they announce their 'progress', or being less than enthusiastic when another promising proposed cancer treatment or trial is revealed in the Science journals and websites. People are STILL DYING.

The Malignant Militia exists to make sure we don't get complacent about stupid cancer and associated research, and as I've pissed off enough people; I dare say, I think it's working ;).

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Yes there IS an Atheist in a foxhole and I am she! :p

Fuck cancer and all its associated shit. I was dealt a crap hand; perfectly fit and healthy, under 40 and end up in 2008, with a gynaecological cancer which not only put me into the early menopause. ruined my sex life, makes me feel like an old lady but also has a stigma attached to it (even though I had ENDO-cervical cancer NOT caused by HPV; as soon as people hear 'cervical' they assume HPV=slutty chav >..< )  It also left me with chemo-induced arthritis and cognitive impairment (chemo-brain). When I was diagnosed, I had been studying to do my PhD for feck's sake! Cancer threw that idea out the window too. FAIL >..< ....but I digress.

I figured there are a few things I could do with this crap hand so randomly dealt by no-one in particular; I could:

1)  just do nothing and die (not an option)
2) do alternative treatment without a clue and take my chances (I didn't do that when I was diagnosed, but do it now and have more than just 'a clue' as I do scientific research on such treatments almost daily);
3) do chemo-radiotherapy and take the shit that comes with it; <- that is what I did and stared death in the face as I did it all whilst remaining true to my philosophy of godlessness and Buddhist logic.

Now whilst I often regret not being able to do more research first (or getting that hysterectomy in 2007), treatment worked as well as it could have; it obliterated the tumour (along with most of my ovaries, womb and cervix) but I am not dead. So the oncologists wipe their hands clean and send me on my way, as they say; "have a nice life; you've no evidence of disease now, but should you have a recurrence, sorry about your luck". So after 4 months of treatment hell; off I go in a blind rage and still in a stupor from my initial diagnosis. How the fuck did this happen; NOW WHAT!?

So I go and seek out other Young adults with cancer. I found lots of great friends through stupidcancer.com, Young adult cancer Canada, Macmillan, and Wellspring.

Several of them have died in the past 3 years and that makes me extremely sad and continues to fuel my rage, hence the creation of the Malignant Militia; a way for me to rant and rave and demand accountability without having to stand at Speakers' Corner looking like a crazy person.

I take the rage and turn it into something somewhat useful and hope to spare any other young adults from the hell in which I found myself by helping to educate them that cancer is rarely preventable and if you get it; it's NOT your fault! If you do have ANY wonky symptoms; *insist* that your GP consider cancer before just brushing you off as being "too young for that!". 

So that is essentially my mission these days; I try to have a good time all the time despite my shit cards. 

However, (and this is where I am finally going with this tale! :o ), what the fuck makes people assume that I am a 'god believer' and propels them to say shit like 'god doesn't give you more than you can handle, and if god closes a window, he opens a door' or other such drivel! REALLY!? WTF? Don't assume I believe in YOUR god! >..< They don't even bother to find out. I don't go around assuming everyone is an Atheist! :/

Just cos I had cancer doesn't mean I had some 'death-bed conversion'. If there even is a god, he's a right git for giving good people cancer :/.

I'm not even going to get into it here about how there have never been wars in the 'name of Atheism; how the Buddha was an Atheist; how the very definition of atheist just means 'non-theist or non-god' and not 'evil devil-worshipping baby-murdering sadist'. :/

For a real insight into what is religious silliness, please see Bill Maher's 'Religulous'. ;).

Contrary to popular belief then, I'm not whinging about my sad stupid life down the pub into the bottom of a whiskey bottle. I actually had the driller on my jobsite today tell me that I was 'extraordinarily cheerful despite only usually getting 4 hours of sleep every night and living with a cancer Dementor around me every day'! and damnit; he was right ;).

It is true that everyone deals with cancer in their own way cos there is no 'right way', and I will make no apologies for doing what I think needs to be done (the Malignant Militia Mission ;)) but my mind belongs to logic and not some sky fairy. :/ 

And on that note, I am reminded of Homer Simpson when he was coerced into joining the Movementarians in 'the Joy of Sect' ;). (back when 'the Simpsons' was funny of course ;)).